[With apologies to Rory Clow who made a reasonable proposal to Steamboat Springs City Council, which would allow pet pigs in the city limits.]

Pig Pets

The species porcine

Identifies a creature many think sublime;

If City Council allows pet pigs to be

Can they also run free

Unbound by pesky leashes

Swim in the river with the Yampa’s fishes?

Participate in pig races

Play at pig parks

and walk in pig-designated places

Council can rename

Important byways and streets

Pork Place and Slop Hollow

A business start-up might soon follow

Selling a special pig poo picker-upper

Or certain elite pigs could be invited to the local community supper

To eat not to be eaten

Such a guest surely cannot be beaten

And well-behaved pigs can attend any council meetings

Trained to meet each proposal with appropriate squealings

And while rejecting projects over five stories high

Council can now exclaim, “In a pig’s eye!

We’ll not allow that sty in the sky!”

Sandy Conlon

Steamboat Springs