Joanne Palmer: Reading the dog stars |

Joanne Palmer: Reading the dog stars

In 1989, Joanne Palmer left a publishing career in Manhattan and has missed her paycheck ever since. She is a mom, weekly columnist for the Steamboat Pilot & Today, and the owner of a property management company, The House Nanny. Her new book "Life in the 'Boat: How I fell on Warren Miller's skis, cheated on my hairdresser and fought off the Fat Fairy" is now available in local bookstores and online at or
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In celebration of this dog-loving town, I’ve provided some dog horoscopes for all you canines out there.

Aries — pit bull: Today is the day to start a new project, perhaps a dog park in Steamboat Springs. Social networking on your DogBook account may bring you the help you’ve been waiting for and the support you need. Make your intentions known, and if no help is available, go it on your own.

Taurus — bulldog: Do not give in to your owner today. Stand your ground or you’ll find yourself enrolled in another session of obedience class. Put yourself first. It’s easy for you to show respect. Growl and show those teeth — who would deny you?

Gemini — Chihuahua: Stay focused. Leash your wild imagination. Finish one project before you start another, otherwise you’ll accomplish nothing. Also, pay attention to your health. Make sure your shots, especially rabies, are up to date.

Cancer — cocker spaniel: You are everyone’s favorite all-American dog. Even Oprah could not resist getting a cocker. Curl up at your owner’s feet, and you will be rewarded with a new squeaky toy. Let your crabby side out and you might end up in the doghouse. Of course, when it’s your doghouse, who minds curling up in a heated, fleece-lined, two-story number?

Leo — golden retriever: Everyone admires your inner and outer beauty today. You have the sun in your first house, which means a ride in your owner’s SUV is almost a sure thing. Enjoy the wind in your face and the smell of freedom.

Virgo — bloodhound: Today is the perfect day to organize your life. Pick up those old bones and get your owner in line. They can never find your leash, and you need that walk.

Libra — standard poodle: Love is in the air! Grooming is in order today. Clip the toenails, trim the ear hair. Look your best for the new love that’s about to appear in your life. First impressions do make a difference! Nobody loves a Pepe Le Pew!

Scorpio — Afghan: Brush the hair over the eyes today. It keeps them guessing. Intrigue is easy for you, man of mystery. Sexual wonder or just plain dumb. No one will ever know.

Sagittarius — pointer: Your tendency to roam could land you in the dog pound if you’re not careful. Dealing with an authority figure is not recommended. Stay on the front porch today. Bring your owner the newspaper turned to the sign-ups for agility class.

Capricorn — Labrador retriever: Loyalty is your strong suit, and you don’t plan to change that today. Hang around your owner and get lots of praise for being such a good dog. Bring the slippers for extra treats. It should be a five-treat day for you!

Aquarius — Portuguese water dog: Of course you are at the side of the new president. You are the New Age. Equality, justice, intelligence. You’ve got it all today. This would be the perfect time to embark on a new venture … like health care reform!

Pisces — Bernese mountain dog: Stare at the clouds. What do you see? Mermaids? Dolphins? Dog treats? You are the dreamer of the Zodiac, and who knows, maybe your dreams will come true and you’ll be let out to romp in the snow! You are in the mood for creature comforts today. Pamper yourself. Sink into a comfy chair and don’t move for 12 hours. Lift an eyebrow only at the sound of the can opener. HMMM … the sensual pleasures are the bomb!

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