10 worst movies of 2014
December 25, 2014
From bad to terrible to awful, these were the worst movies of 2014:
10. "Horrible Bosses 2." This movie had such little respect for the audience it wasn't even about horrible bosses. It was about three stooges who come up with the worst idea ever to make it rich: They kidnap the obnoxious son of a wealthy businessman. Nobody gets out of this movie with their dignity, not even the great Christoph Waltz.
9. "If I Stay." No, you should really go. Chloe Grace Moretz is mired in this ridiculous melodrama that plays like a high school version of "Ghost," only with a much lesser script. Much of the film involves invisible, spiritual Mia (Moretz) padding about the hospital while the physical Mia is in a coma. When Mia's boyfriend sings her one last song, I think the poor girl was wishing for the sweet relief of death.
8. "Winter's Tale." Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe are hopelessly lost in this time traveling debacle that features a magical winged horse that's really a dog, Will Smith as Lucifer and William Hurt saying that "fillet" should be pronounced fill-it because you don't call a wallet a wall-ay.
7. "That Awkward Moment." This is a bromance movie that knows nothing about male friendship, romance or comedy. Other than that, I loved it. This is one of those desperate films with a number of running gags that start off unfunny and simply get more tiresome the second and third time around.
6. "Lucy." Proof once again it often takes some really talented people to make memorable garbage. Scarlett Johansson is the title character, who ingests a drug that makes her smarter than everybody. Directed by Luc Besson, this is a great-looking film, but the smarter Lucy gets, the more idiotic the movie gets.
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5. "Sex Tape." Jason Segel, who's usually very funny, and Cameron Diaz, who can be funny, flounder about in this raunchy but never sexy comedy. About every 10 minutes in this movie, the whole story would come to an end if a character did what any rational human being would do. But "Sex Tape" keeps plodding along, with nearly every scene landing with a deadly thud.
4. "Left Behind." Nicolas Cage stars in a remake of a Kirk Cameron film in this well-intentioned but comically inept disaster movie. The special effects are lousy, the acting is shockingly bad and the message is ham-handed and overwrought.
3. "Blended." I'm often asked if I ever walk out of a movie, and the answer is "no," I always stay to the bitter end, but "Blended" had me itching for the exits. Adam Sandler reteams with Drew Barrymore in this idiotic, shameless, offensive, pandering, cliched, vulgar, disturbingly awful film.
2. "The Other Woman." Cameron Diaz makes her second appearance in the Bottom 10. No cliche is left unturned in this would-be feminist revenge fantasy that actually insults women. Leslie Mann and the hopelessly amateurish Kate Upton join Diaz in a series of contrived, hackneyed episodes in which they plot their revenge on Mann's husband, who has been fooling around with the other two nitwits.
That's a whole crate of rotten tomatoes, but none can compare with the jaw-dropping awfulness of "Before I Go To Sleep." Oscar winners Colin Firth and Nicole Kidman star in this dramatic turn on "50 First Dates." Every morning when Kidman's Christine wakes up, she doesn't know who she is, she has no memories and she doesn't even recognize her husband, Ben. Every shocking turn in this story is either not so shocking, because we saw it coming, or completely senseless. "Before I Go to Sleep," I try to forget I ever saw this movie.
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